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Submitted on
September 8, 2012
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EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HETALIA!~

AMERICAAAA!~ :iconsexyamericaplz:
VERSES
ENNNGLAAAND!~ :iconpirateiggyplz:

BEGIN!!

England:
I don't need a shirt to know I'm next to Stupid
This git loves eating heartburns without help from Cupid
You're terribly rude; manners are what you lack
Face the fact; you're no hero!
You fear a Mexican girl with a backpack!*
And not to mention the tension when you watch horror movies, how sad!
Poor Japan was freaking out when you were sobbing on his lap!
Speaking of which, do you know where's the ol' chap?
Oh that's right, you wouldn't know; you don't own a bloody world map!

America:
Screw you, Iggy! I'm the home of the free!
You're just jealous of my awesomeness so kiss my Lady Liberty!
I am too a hero; they call me Captain in a movie!
It's so sweet, I might tweet!
And no, not literally!
Geez, old man! Keep up with the times!
I betcha don't know what are lemons and limes!
Oh by the way; I rock at being seme!
How does it feel to be on the bottom, UKe?

England:
Bollocks! You're a kid with a hero complex!
Your main language is Gibberish; your second is text!
You may be Four Eyes, but you should recognize
That your I.Q. is lower than your leftover fries!
How's that diet coming along? Have you lost any yet?
Or is the scale showing you a number higher than your debt?
Oh don't fret; no need to be upset!
I'm sure your Super Sized arse is what we'll learn to accept! (Not!!)

America:
HEY! That's noneya biz!
I may not be a math whiz, but get this!
You plus cooking equals the worst!
You should've really taken culinary class first!
Seriously, your food makes people wanna hurl!
I bet Santa gives scones to bad boys and girls!
Not even Korea wants to take credit for your shit!
So just do the world a favor and stay out of the kit-
Chen!
You know you can't do nothin'!
All that hocus pocus crap we know it's just you bluffin'!
And if we're talking about my weight, let's get one thing straight;
Compared to your eyebrows, my ass is second-rate!

England:
Sod off, wanker! You should spread Marmite
On your fast food; then perhaps that disease would taste right!
But it's all wishful thinking; you know it's true
That only I look smashing in red, white, and blue
Have you forgotten already, Mister Home of the Free?
Who had to clean your bed sheets covered in pee?
Or stop your daft weeping in the middle of the night?
Whenever you woke up in cold sweat and fright?
Oh what a sight! I delight
In the fact you thanked me with a fight
If it wasn't for that Frog, I would have had the last bite!

America:
Hahaha!~ I hate to break it to you but
It wasn't that hard to battle a nut
Who believes in sparkly vamps, talking lions, and fairies
I bet all your Facebook friends are imaginary!
So pack your wands and wings, and floaty crowny things!
Because in contrast to The Hero, you're just a Kim Kardashian ring!
You wish I stayed a tyke, but I don't roll on a trike
Look at all these gold medals! Wanna have one? Psyche!!

WHO WON??
WHO'S NEXT??
YOU DECIDE!!

-------

This rap was entirely inspired by "Epic Rap Battles of History" on YouTube.
Hetalia belongs to :iconhimaruyaplz:
*Yes, according to hetalia.wikinet.org/wiki/Ameri… , America has 238 weaknesses. One of them being Dora The Explorer. :iconpokerfacejapanplz: Way to go, Mr. Hero~ XD

Comment! Fave! Request the next people to rap!! :iconlaplz:

[EDIT] Romano v.s. Germany will most likely be the next rap battle!~ After that, Prussia v.s. Austria, Greece v.s. Turkey, and Japan v.s. China are the next possible raps! Voting ends this Friday! Stay tuned for more updates! ;P
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmagalia323:
magalia323 Featured By Owner 5 days ago
Eh, I'd have to say America one. Just because of England's four eyes comment-
Reply
:iconblue-angel2:
blue-angel2 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
America won with this simple true statement : " Oh by the way; I rock at being seme!
How does it feel to be on the bottom, UKe?"
hey iggy should the fire department be called yet, burn. Hahahaha. I love this great job totaly looking forward to the next one dude!
Reply
:iconcupaholicmilo:
CupaholicMilo Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconclapplz:
ENGLAND WON! :D
Reply
:iconstarkiller11240:
starkiller11240 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Britain won, no question XD

*faves*
Reply
:iconziazerosgurl:
ZiaZerosGurl Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
England:
I don't need a shirt to know I'm next to Stupid
*faves*
Reply
:iconfemdenmark92:
Femdenmark92 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014
America XD
Reply
:icongermanpastamiester:
GermanPastaMiester Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
britan won!!!!! =w=
Reply
:icondibstarp:
DibstaRP Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dude! So hard to choose! But...OK America!
Reply
:iconninjabitz:
NinjaBitz Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013
I love this so much XD. Someone please sing this Ill pay you like five dollars.
Reply
:iconcapriciousuke:
CapriciousUke Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing! Just absolutely brilliant! XD I accidentally stumbled upon this and I think it was the best mistake I've ever made!
Reply
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