RomanoxReader: Can't Say It

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WARNING: Romano = cussing~

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"Goddammit! Why can't I say it?!" Romano fretted, mentally beating himself up.

Three times. He had three fucking times, fucking chances to just blurt it out and he missed it! Missed them all! He ran a hand through his auburn hair in frustration and muttered more swears under his breath as a scowl took over his handsome face. Lifting his head up a bit, he peered down to see _______'s peaceful form lying on her side next to him in his arms. His sharp hazel eyes slowly softened once he saw and gazed at your calm expression. The way you had your head resting on his shoulder, your hand placed delicately over his heart, and a warm small smile as a soothing breeze slightly rocked the hammock you two laid in…it just made him think of the words "cute" and "adorable" over and over again, which he roughly shoved to the back of his mind in denial. An obvious shade of red colored his cheeks as he flashbacked to the day's events.

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After convincing him that you didn't necessarily have to wear swimsuits, you had finally dragged a reluctant Romano to the beach to spend the oh so beautiful day together. Romano was at first determined to prove that he wouldn't have any fun, but his resolve gradually crumbled as time passed by.

"Look, Romano! I found a conch!" you happily called him over and waved the large spiral seashell high in the air proudly. He rolled his eyes and grumbled as he made his way over to you, leaving behind his footprints in the soft squishy sand as he walked. In one hand, he gripped the white handle of a red pail full of seashells you had found earlier, which swung to and fro, and in the other, he held a small yellow plastic shovel.

"Yeah? So what?" he replied grouchily once he stood in front of you, keeping his signature frown intact. He had to constantly remind himself that no matter what, he had to stay stubborn. He can't give up; he can't give you any hint or the satisfaction of knowing that he was having fun. He just wanted to go home or get as far away from you as possible. Being around you always made him feel uneasy; made his heart quicken and his nerves on edge. He couldn't quite explain or didn't know what to call this feeling. It felt like something close to fear, but the mere idea of him being afraid of you was laughable. Ha! He wasn't afraid of you! No way! No, it's definitely something else…though he couldn't quite say he didn't like this feeling…

You ignored his grouchy tone and just grinned brightly. "So now you can hear the ocean! Listen!"

You took a small step towards him and held the conch up to his ear for him to hear. His frown deepened and his eyes narrowed as he tsked.

"Idiota. What are you talking about? I can't hear a damn thing!" With that, he dropped the pail he was carrying on the soft sand and grabbed your hand, pulling the conch closer so that it was cupping over his ear, but also unintentionally pulling you forward into his chest. You both immediately blushed at the unexpected contact and froze, exchanging surprised stares. The sound of the waves rolling and crashing on the shore and the gust of wind blowing yours and Romano's hair wildly were the only sounds that filled the moments of awkward silence that followed. You were both stuck; neither of you knew what to do next. It seemed like each of you were waiting; expecting; hoping for the other to make the next move. You couldn't believe how close you were to him, how your lips were only a couple inches apart from his… More moments of awkwardness passed before you at last casted your eyes away from his stare.

"S-So do you hear it…?" you stammered shyly, darkening your blush.

It was then that something clicked in Romano's mind. This feeling…this feeling of anxiety mixed with embarrassment and, and…excitement was it? Yes, something like that…it made his heart pound so hard and so loudly, it felt like it would burst out of his chest. It tightened his throat and made it hard to speak or breathe. It made the hand that was holding yours turn clammy and the red on his cheeks spread. This feeling…was the feeling he felt around you. Only you. And when he questioned it, when he asked himself "Why", thoughts raced into his head.

For one, he liked the look you have on right now; that timid look with your eyes looking away, too embarrassed to meet his. He liked how your hair was swirling around you in the wind and how the sun seemed to shine on you like a spotlight. He liked how childish you were, collecting seashells and treating them like pieces of treasure. He liked how you took the time to invite him, only him, to hang out with today. He liked how you understood him and looked past his grumpy attitude. He liked how you didn't see him as just Veneziano's brother, or even just South Italy. He liked how you saw him for him, Romano; Lovino. He…

He liked you.

No…

He…loved you.

"Romano? Are you okay?" you asked in concern, tilting your head cutely to the side. More blood rushed into his cheeks. He swallowed hard.

"Dammit! Say something!"

"I…I…" he stuttered, frantically searching for words to say. He suddenly shoved the conch and your hand away into your chest and hastily backed away. "I-I think…" He spotted the red pail and hurriedly grabbed it, dumping its contents onto the sand.

"L-Let's build a sandcastle!" he exclaimed, holding the pail and shovel still in his other hand out to you, as if he just pulled Excalibur out of its stone.

…

…

…

You blinked twice, clutching the conch to your heart, and stared at the pail, the shovel, and him quizzically.

"Um…ohhhhhkaaaay…?"

Romano mentally facepalmed. Real smooth, Romano. Real smooth.

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"Uh, Romano? Your ice pop is melting," you pointed out, snapping him out of his thoughts.

After building a decent sandcastle and having it destroyed anyways by a powerful wave ("I told you it was too close to the waves!" Romano's angry words rang in your head), you and Romano decided to settle down on a red-and-white checkered picnic blanket you brought and have lunch.

"Huh? Oh, fuck!" he swore, cupping a hand under the dripping red ice pop he was holding in the other hand. He heard you giggle in amusement.

"Here, lemme find some napkins…" You lifted the cover to the picnic basket you brought and rummaged through the food and items inside. A few seconds later, Romano impatiently complained, "Anytime now!"

You furrowed your brows and frowned, beginning to take some food out to make it easier to see what was inside. "Shoot, did I forget to pack some…?" you asked aloud. Romano rolled his eyes.

"You're really an idiota, aren't you?" he smirked at you slightly. You shot him a playful glare over your shoulder.

"Fine. You know what? You don't need napkins. I'll help you~"

Before he could even question "how", you grabbed his wrist and brought his hand up to the level of your mouth to lick clean the trails of red juice running down his fingers. A blush immediately invaded his cheeks.

"W-W-What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" he exclaimed, shocked. You arched an eyebrow, giving him an innocent questioning look.

"What do you mean? I'm just helping you silly~" you giggled. He couldn't tell whether you were teasing him or not. He didn't see you as that type of person. Nonetheless, he quickly yanked his hand out of your grasp and spluttered, "I-I don't need your h-help, dammit!"

You pouted, but just laughed it off. You held up your hands in defense. "Alright, alright, whatever you say, Lo- I-I mean, Romano!" you hastily covered up your mistake and giggled again, but this time it sounded more forced than cheerful. Romano frowned at this and when you turned your head, facing away from him. He sighed in frustration.

"_______, just…just call me Lovino already, dammit! It's not that hard!" His cheeks flushed red again from anger and embarrassment as his eyes nervously looked everywhere but you. You turned to face him then and stared at him incredulously. A wide happy smile spread from ear to ear and your eyes lit up in delight.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, woman! I just said it's fine, didn't I? Are you deaf?" he retorted, scowling as he bit down on the last piece of his red ice pop and slid it up the popsicle stick and into his mouth with his tongue. When he dared a glance at you, he saw you gaping at him slightly and admittedly looking like a cute tomato. (Damn you, Spain…)

"Th-Thanks…Lovino."

He masked the joy he felt when he heard you say his real name and raised a brow in confusion. "For what?"

"For…you know, hanging out with me today, even though I kind of forced you to. And for…for opening up to me just now. It means a lot to me." You smiled genuinely. "I'm happy we're great friends."

Romano was gawking at you a little in surprise up until the point you spoke the word "friends". That was when his awed expression returned to his scowl.

"But I want to be more than friends…" he thought secretly. So why? Why couldn't he tell you that? Why couldn't he stop being a coward and just fucking work up the nerve to just say it? Those three simple words? He clenched his fists a little.

"_______, I…I…th-there's something I have to tell you…" he muttered uneasily. Goddammit, what was with him and blushing today?!

Little did he know, your heart began to race after hearing those words. Ugh, why couldn't you stop blushing?! You kept telling yourself to not sound too eager and just act casual as you asked, "Yeah, Lovino?"

"This is it. Just say it! Just fucking say "I like you" already!" He gulped and tried to focus on stopping his hands from quivering. "Th-The truth is I…I…"

Suddenly, something white and wet plopped down on Romano's head. Both of your jaws dropped in utter disbelief as you heard a seagull's cry above the two of you, which strangely sounded like mocking laughter.

"WHAT THE-? YOU MOTHERFUCKING BIRD! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, GODDAMMIT!" Romano got up and furiously blushed and shook his fist at the bird while chasing it down. "I'LL SHOW YOU NOT TO SHIT ON PEOPLE'S HEADS AS IF THEY'RE YOUR GODDAMN POTTIES!"

Speaking of potties, Romano's potty mouth combined with the fact he was chasing after the bird by running in circles was enough to make you let loose a fit of laughter.

Best. Lunch. Ever.

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"I see a…ooh! A rabbit!" you pointed up at a cloud as it lazily drifted by.

Sometime later, you and Romano had grown exhausted and fortunately discovered a hammock that was tied between two palm trees swaying in the breeze. Romano tested it first to see if it was sturdy enough and confirmed that it was. You both then climbed in and lied down next to each other, killing time by gazing up at clouds.

Romano scrunched up his face in disapproval and doubt. "How the fuck do you see a rabbit? It just looks like any other cloud to me."

"No, no, it's different! You have to use your imagination! See?" You took his hand in yours, causing him to lightly blush again, and used his finger to point and trace the parts to the "rabbit". "There's the nose and the eyes and the head… And its ears are here, see? One ear is up, and the other is down… And then there are its feet! And it's fluffy white tail~" You chuckled softly, your voice strained from all of the earlier yelling and laughing during the whole "seagull accident". Romano noticed this and he frowned.

"Oi, rest your voice, idiota, or else you're going to lose it…" he murmured into your ear tenderly, slipping his hand from your grasp to push some hair away from your eyes. You would have blushed too and asked him why he was being uncharacteristically gentle if you weren't so tired. Your eyelids grew heavy as you covered your mouth with your hand, yawned, and just nodded, too exhausted to argue, and scooted closer to him. He instinctively wrapped an arm around you and you sighed contently.

"Hey, _-______? About what I was going to say earlier…" he spoke after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"Mmhm…" you answered quietly, not really paying attention to what he was saying since sleep was on the verge of capturing you and he knew it too. He tried to speak quickly.

"I-It's just that…I couldn't believe it at first but…all of this time…a-all of this time, I-I think…I've been falling for you. A-And I couldn't figure it out until now…it was only now that I realized…I-I realized that…th-that  _______, I…I li…"

The sound of quiet snoring interrupted him and he looked down to see you sleeping and see the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you snoozed.

Goddammit.

He couldn't say it. He couldn't confess his feelings to her. Dammit. Damn it all…

"Lovino…" you abruptly mumbled in your sleep, snatching his full attention. Heat warmed his cheeks again and he stared down at you, gaping. You were having a dream about him?

"Lovino…don't go…please…don't leave…" you continued, clutching his shirt tightly while a few tears formed at the corners of your eyes. He then gazed at you sympathetically.

"Idiota…why would I ever leave you? I'm right here…" He pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you into a hug. At that moment, as he hushed your sniffing and small sobs and wiped away your tears, the words he had been dying to say escaped your lips.

"I…love you…Lovino…"

A warm feeling of happiness suddenly flared up deep inside of him. Relief washed over him too and he exhaled, letting out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.
You loved him too. He couldn't believe it! His feelings were returned. For the first time, the corners of his mouth tugged up into a rare smile and he leaned down to kiss your cheek.

"Me too, _______..." he whispered, taking his hand in yours again and squeezing it comfortingly. "Ti amo, bella…"